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EPIC RAP BATTLE CONNOR KENWAY VS EDWARD KENWAYEPIC RAP BATTLE CONNOR KENWAY VS EDWARD KENWAY by SmellMehFeet
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
The portside winds
Bring a victory most swift
So grandson I hope you're ready
Cos you'll be caught in vocal drift
You're just a sad landlubber
Tomohawk-wielding version of me
I can board a man-o-war
And still never be seen
Call me an angel of death
I'll board and kill the whole crew sailing the Equila
And sink a fleet
Drunk on five pints of rum and tequila
You couldn't cause as big a fuss
If you were Boston's plague dealer
Killing off all the doctors
Acting as disease healers
But grandson, why don't you use a sword
And take my advice
Actually get a proper ship
Regardless of the high price!
I do parkour in trees
Don't tell me that's not hardcore.
I got a pistol and an axe
I make killing an artform.
I'm a colonial assassin, look at you Gramps.
Need I remind you here who's the real champ?
The sea is not my thing - I stick to the trees.
Come flyin' out the green, hell yeah I'm the bees knees.
My name is
EPIC RAP BATTLE XERXES VS JULIUS CAESAREPIC RAP BATTLE XERXES VS JULIUS CAESAR by SmellMehFeet
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
The God-King returns
At the Rise of an Empire
And while you couldn't possibly beat me
I can't help but admire
But you didn't found your country
Or earn it its name
However, join me and I'll rewrite your history
And lead you to unmatched fame
I am generous and kind
And you will find that inside
My blood is blue and I'm immortal
Armies fifty thousand miles wide
I shall give you a chance
To catch up to what you have heard
Now show us all your dictating
Oh, a god, are you?
We've already got one-sixty-two
With no room for more
Besides, what are you the god of
But inadequate troops and deformed whores?
The Roman Empire will crush your larger
But far less effective force
And unlike you, I'll even join the battle
Your "immortality"? That's the source!
You just stand afar and watch your battles
With no control of what goes down
And when you lose one you go mental
And stack execution mounds
EPIC RAP BATTLE JEFF THE KILLER VS JANE THE KILLEREPIC RAP BATTLE JEFF THE KILLER VS JANE THE KILLER by SmellMehFeet
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA
FOR SOME REASON... THE MOST REQUESTED ONE OF ALL...
JEFF THE KILLER!
JANE THE KILLER
Don't go to sleep yet Jeffy
Cos we're just getting to the start
I'll leave you crippled once more
Fuck the story- grab a gun from Walmart
I'm sick of you thinking you're so great
So I've come to set you straight
It's not about our history
It's your smugness and vanity that I hate
I'll carve you a new mouth
But you're not gonna smile
This'll be a replay of that party
Burning up on the tiles
Now I would say that you've lost
But I'd like to hear you suck balls first
This battle's not gonna be the one
Where you quench your bloodthirst
Oh I see, is that your view?
Well let's just take another look
Cos in fact I remember killing you
Don't be surprised, I can read you like a book
But I got no time for reading
There's still many people to be killed
My raps are gonna fuck you up
So bitch I hope you're on your pills
You're just a shitty
DRB, Barack Obama Vs. AladdinBarack Obama: Look who's here the U.S. head of state,DRB, Barack Obama Vs. Aladdin by LordElthibar
My victory is here and I tell you it's my fate1
Look at you, ex-street rat living in a palace like a king,
I worked my way to get here and that is saying something.
I beat Romney in election and rap and now I'm coming for you,
When you get back to Agrabah Genie won't be the only one who is blue.
Aladdin: What is this I hear now, you beat them both in rap?
NO! Lincoln beat you both in rap you poor westernized sap!
I know the truth about what you did in the land,
You lied about who you really were and took the power in your hand.
Jasmine, the sultan, and I support all those who do work,
You stuff lazy people with welfare and that makes you a jerk!
Barack Obama: Look who's talking boy when you lied to your girl,
That's a false identity fact and that surely makes people hurl.
I'm the one governing a land of the free,
We need no sultan or king for we have democracy.
I turned the economy around and I got it back to speed,
You lost Agrabah
DRB, Malcor VS. RalphscoeMalcor: It's Malcor, a warrior and a mighty Catholic fighter,DRB, Malcor VS. Ralphscoe by LordElthibar
I'm about to light the powder on this once tough biter!
I'm the son of an Inqusitor ordained by Mother Church,
Favor like that makes you look like a perch!
I'm a skilled soldier and war trophies make me spoiled,
A black magician like yourself seems like he is always foiled!
Trying to take Youtube channels while I take kingdoms for exchange,
Think about that while I make Elthibar's strength wain!
Ralphscoe: *evil laugh* Hey look a walking Rumor,
It's time to get a painful dose of my evil sense of humor!
I have an imortal adoptive father, he lived longer than a century,
While your father is here and gone like a snack from a pantry!
I was betrayed by my love in my past back story,
Yours was killed while she still loved you and that is not so gorey!
Consider the fact that we are related since we have the same mother,
In that case that makes you my half-brother!
Malcor: Evil sense of humor? Your an occultic psychopath,
DRB, Eugene Fitzherbert vs. Jack DawsonEugene: Hi, how are you doing? The name is Flynn Rider.DRB, Eugene Fitzherbert vs. Jack Dawson by LordElthibar
Also known as Eugene Fitzherbert and quite a swell fighter.
I don't just make my way randomly as things just go along,
I wake up to find a new dream and I put it to the song.
You practically stole your way on the giant iron ship,
While in my efforts I achieved and made the kingdom flip.
For you, no change and dedication but the same old play,
I found a cause for my life and I live with her this day.
Jack: Stole my way abord? Look at you, you were a thief,
And you had a former dream of greed and that's beyond belief.
I'm artistic in my ways and for that I sure don't shout,
As I made my way around the world, I sure made each day count.
I had a certain someone who was special like a Rose.
Get it? I taught her how to protect herself and she can break a nose.
Like you, I died for for my love and that's a worthy living life,
I slowly died while freazing you had a quicker death by knife.
Eugene: You think yourself Romantic? You treated R
DRB, Elthibar Fitzherbert vs. Ronald ReaganElthibar: A former convict in my past I am, who rose up to the top,DRB, Elthibar Fitzherbert vs. Ronald Reagan by LordElthibar
Tested everything to see success or if it would be a flop.
You already were executive of a world super power,
While a man like me rose to be only lord in the kingdom of the healing flower.
Your efforts were amizing, that I must admit,
But I stopped all excess spending while your congress rose it bit by bit.
I eliminated bureaucrat control that was at large,
In the Federal gomernment, you should have shown Congress who's in charge.
Reagan: Your'e a responsible young man, I sure will admit that,
I myself claim blame for Carter's cirsis for I was once a democrat.
You took on city states and villains' armies from affar,
While in my time of crisis I took on the USSR.
Your victories against your enemies impressive for your kingdom's size, times four,
But in my strategies, only my last effort was war.
Elthibar: Many Americans were right, you sure do have a sense of humor,
I will not try to throw against you any angry liberal
Cartoon Rap Battles(This is just for fun.)Cartoon Rap Battles by Montatora-501
Cartoon Rap Battles!!
Let's make this quick
I have a tune-up at noon.
Speaking of which
It seems that you'll need one pretty soon!
So you're that Sari chick, I see
The girl with that bright shiny key
Who used it to upgrade yourself to be
...absent for most of Season 3
Although I can relate to you
Since, at times, we have parental issues
At least my Mom built me
unlike your so-called "daddy"!
Oh you think your family's fine?
8 of your sisters were put offline
At least my dad calls me by my name,
You can do all these amazing things
yet you can't dish out a decent rap?
Why don't you transform into an outhouse
since you're so full of crap!
Damn, what's up with that voice of yours!?
It would sound better coming out of a small horse!
I saved the world more alone than you have with your "friends"
Now that I've said that, it's clear now how this rap ends...
Who will be next?
I'm not reall
VOTING IS NOW CLOSED!!!HERE'S THE FINAL TWO!!!WAZZUP, WATCHEEEEEERS!!!!VOTING IS NOW CLOSED!!!HERE'S THE FINAL TWO!!! by Averagejoeguy2
WE DID IT! The voting for the next episode has had a triumphant conclusion. It was a tight race, in fact, WE TIED!!! Here are the two Match ups that made it to the finals.
1. Jack Frost VS Flynn Rider: The Battle for Rapunzel
2. Rapunzel VS Merida
Voting for this final round ends next Wednesday (November 6th), and the battle will be posted later that week. That should be plenty of time for you guys to vote, and for me to get off my lazy :icondonkeyplz: and write the gosh dang thing. SO GET VOTING, PEOPLE!!!
While we're waiting for voting for this to end, I'd like to hear who YOU want to see spit some rhymes in episode 5. I'm offering five open slots for nominees, any characters from any series are accepted (unless I've never heard of them), so get those suggestions in. First come, first served.